Syndrome

So I have been talking with a friend about some things going on inside my head and heart.  She had some great insight into my actions that I don't like, but I concede are true.  That is, I am in want of a savior.  I am seeking someone to rescue me from my poor relationship and make things better.  This is both horrible and great.  Horrible because this is no way to actually find/make a healthy relationship.  Then again, healthy relationships are not made with other women while I am married either in my opinion.  Someone who is willing to have or support an affair when you are miserable is willing to do the same for themselves or others when you're the one making someone less than happy. This is great because I have expected dysfunction to arise in my personal life from the relationship I have had.  This is the dysfunction I have been expecting.  I was not able to see it for myself, but it was seen for me.   I try to be introspective, honest and observant.  The truth is we will never see ourselves entirely as we are.  I am so thankful my friend saw this, and was honest about it because now I know the dysfunction I have and I can combat it.  It makes perfect sense though with my obsessing over love that was lost.  Something that I do not have is easy to make perfect in my mind.  The perfect, attainable solution that would solve my suffering.  Truth is, there is no such thing as a perfect solution to rescue me from my suffering. There is only endurance, will power and closure/resolution that will solve my problems.  No one will do that for me, nor CAN anyone do that for me.  I must do it myself, I must do it alone, with no ones help.  No one but God.  My one and only true savior.