Used to be...behind the words

So this is kinda what my last short poem was about... I was doing some things tonight trying to get into an old account online to recover some stuff and I was going thru things that were associated with the account and it was SHOCKING when I saw some of the crap I was into and thought was OK or justified.  I realized how much has changed in my life over the years.  I started out as a young adult very very naive which is partially how I got where I was.  Slowly I started to get into crap I shouldn't be into and it almost killed me and almost stripped me of all my hard work and my career.  It DID strip me of someone I love and that has been some of the toughest aftermath from my low-life slump.  Now when I look back at the last two years and I see how much I have grown up and manned up and faced shit that I have made for myself and fought to become what I had the potential for it's very satisfying.  I graduated the bottom of my class after being kicked back twice for failure and academic deficits and I have gone from that to sitting in reserved seating at conferences and am a co-manager of a successful and revered business. Despite the success that God has blessed me with though there's one thing that still lacks and that is love.  True, sincere, deep love from one human to another.  All my success and overcoming cannot mend that and that is a deep regret, and an ever present scar on my life that is a part of my story.  It is as much a part of my struggle as anything else I have dealt with, but it serves as a reminder of where I have been and the value of how to treat people.