In love with ideas (3 of 3)

So, having made the two former points, I now want to talk about loving someone or more accurately the idea or essence of someone and relate it to the experience I sorely regret...even though I may not...

We have all fallen in love with the idea or essence of someone.  We do it all the time with movie stars, actors, politicians, professors, people.  This is when you form in your mind, correct or not, an idea of what this person is, who they are, what they stand for.  You ascribe a certain definition to them that you have created and you love this definition.  The truth is, often who they are, is not confined within your definition of them. For this reason we find disappointment and surprise in people we "thought we knew".  Now one step further, how often do we "fall in love" with someone we have only known a few months, weeks or even days?  This is where it gets really crazy to me because I have been there.  But the truth is we are falling in love with not only the idea of a person, but the snap shot of and idea of a person at that single point in their life.  This is grounds for a very volatile relationship.  This is where my relationship with the un-named wonder-woman had gone wrong.  I feel, she was in love with the idea of me, and that idea was correctly portrayed by me, of who I was and had been for the last 26 or 27 years of my life up to that point.  Going thru what I was going thru in life though, I was acting contrary to what I believed and this became evident because of my behavior.  What she saw was a man who said one thing and did another, which is altogether not that uncommon.  But she judged me on a snap shot of the shittiest part of my life and that ended our friendship.  That entire situation has caused me a great deal of mental pain, but it wasn't until recently, thinking thru all that that I realized, maybe she's not as great as I think she was?!  Maybe I judged a snap shot of her, because after all we only knew each other for a month before parting ways.  The snap shot I had of her, I loved and adored, but I never knew anything more than a snap shot.  I would love to some day get to see the whole film and maybe then I would better understand why we both came to the decisions in our lives that we have.  Maybe I would love her less, but I suspect I would only love her more. I wish to God that she stop to see the whole film of my life because I am very confident she would love me more.  It all only serves as a reminder to me, though, to be true to myself and always be who I am in essence and morale because I don't want to be judged for my poor decisions in time of weakness and trial there by suffering the consequences for the rest of my life.