Naivety

I have a peculiar naivety about me for being the skeptical realist I am.  Perhaps that indicates I'm not as much of a skeptic nor a realist as I perceive myself to be.  That's really not the topic I want to discuss though.  I don't understand how the same old shit can happen and I still get blindsided.  I would guess that's how I survive.  I forget that just yesterday she was a bitch to everyone, wake up, hope it's going to be a new day.  Once in a while she throws me a bone and we have a descent day as a family.  She's been a crank for the last few days but nothing drastic or hurtful.  This morning I was reminded why I don't leave and why I can't leave.  Our daughter started to do something her mother asked her not to do, then when questioned she tried to defend what she was doing and my wife went into retard mode.  She started yelling, telling my daughter she can't stand to ever be around her.  I stopped her before she could say anything else hurtful.  It made her mad at me but I don't give a damn, that's my job.  I will defend these kids from her painful darts til my dying breath.  It was a good reminder that I am still needed here.  I wish my wife were able to see and hear the hurtful things she says for what they are.  I don't understand them either.  What mother says that to her daughter?  Her own flesh and blood?  What the hell would she have said if I hadn't stopped her?  What's the long term effects of this on my kids?  The only good part of it all, I suppose, is she can be fun and good to the kids from time to time and the kids know she's crazy, they just don't know how crazy.  So I feel if I can play damage control and keep her from saying horrible things the kids might grow up to be pretty functional.  I have also noticed she favors our son.  Maybe she doesn't.  Maybe he's just easier to get along with.  That is possible....my daughter is more like my wife.  She is confrontational and belligerent and does what she pleases.  She says far more hurtful things to my daughter than to my son.  Maybe she brings it on herself to some extent, but NO CHILD deserves to hear the things my wife espouses whens he's angry.  No husband deserves it either, but I choose it.  I choose it for my children.