Looking

What is it I have against sleep? It seems I can never go to bed at a reasonable hour.  I have to be absolutely exhausted and nodding off in my chair before I can call it quits for the day.  I hate to say it but I think it's because of what I recently wrote about.  It's because I'm a seeker, I'm looking and searching for affirmation of life.  I want to connect, I want to feel someone touch my soul and I want to, in turn, touch someone else's soul.  I wish I had that in my house.  I will say I enjoy my kids company.  I can connect with them.  They are able to have normal human relationships and I'm thankful for that.  I worry alot about my kids, especially my daughter since she favors her mother in her persona. I hope that they are able to have healthy meaningful relationships in the future that allow them to feel they have that connection of souls with whoever it is the end up with.  I hope to God that my children find that which I'm looking for.  I may never find it, but I hope and pray that they do.