Take my world apart

In the end

So this is where the story begins...my dad has figured out some website that he can pirate one of the news stations from. He watches it on his computer almost every night.

Tonight mom calls my wife and quickly asks if I'm there and to send me to her house immediately, it's an emergency. So with no explanation what to prepare for I think what the do you need in an emergency? i grab my gun and ride my bike up there all quick like because that's the best I can think of. Mom comes out on the porch to meet me. Se's crying and trying to explain to me about how North Korea has launched nuclear missiles at Los Angeles and they are supposed to hit in an hour and a half and they said to seek shelter and not run because if you're not in shelter you will die and she's upset and worried. So I come back home where my wife is dying to know what was so urgent. So i told her what mom informed me of, but told her not to say anything to anyone yet because, being the super skeptic that I am, I don't know if this is a fact yet. My wife argues with me and tells three people and calls our daughter to tell her she loves her (we live very far from Los Angeles). Then she just lays in the bed and cries. Mom calls my brother in Erie, he calls his friend and his friend packs all his worldly possessions in his jeep and they are getting ready to come to mom's for the apocalypse that's about to ensue. I get on the computer and i'm like there's nothing at all on here about it. It's gotta be a hoax. I tell mom i think she's nuts, so her and dad call my uncle who was also watching the same news channel. He saw nothing of the sort. Turns out it was just a hack on the pirate site dad was watching the news on! At least now I know how I will react if and when something like this does occur. The saddest part for me though, was as I was going home I thought "this sucks I may die married to a woman I can't stand. I wish I could have loved someone before I died." So that's it's friends. In a death crisis scenario that's the only regret I have. Having never reciprocated love truly with someone.

All worth while

Well, I have no one to tell this story to...so I will blog it.  When we have a new patient at my store my employees and I will send a personally signed thank-you card.  A few weeks ago I had a new patient that was a young child needing an antibiotic.  So as usual we sent a thank you card.  Well she LOVED it.  It was the sweetest thing.  He mother said she took the card with her to school to show her friends and her class,  then she insisted she buy a card for us and send to us.  So today I got a card from one of my patients.  It was such a sweet thing, it's these little moments in life that make all the bullshit I endure every day.  The sincere heart of a child makes me smile like nothing else. 

"Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

Limited Opinion

Now that's a very interesting notion.  Do you think maybe this is what we are currently experiencing in politics?  NAHHHHH!!  

Social (Ignorance) Media

Ya know what gets me?  How stupid people can be, that's what.  Below is a picture that is circulating on social media and there's all these tools commenting on how brave and amazing this man is and how we don't have the worth ethic and fortitude of people like this and on and on...it's a freaking fake picture.  I have never seen this picture before but I called bullshit at first glance.  That's not to say we don't lack fortitude or work ethic these days, but in addition to lacking those things we also are lacking a damned brain.  The frustrating part it the comments go on for miles and it takes forever for someone to say "That's photo shopped".  I hope to goodness that we begin to get smarter as a culture, but so far, it's proving to be that Idiocracy is the first comedy to become a documentary. 

So here's the actual picture.  It's still respectable, and maybe more so because it doesn't scream FAKE when you look at it.  I wish people could leave well enough alone and appreciate history and culture for what it factually is.  

Weird Love

Blue and Black

Happy Aniversery

Happy anniversary JAM!  Today it's been 4 years since we started talking. Hard to believe it's been that long.  Especially since I can't get you off my mind.  Another interesting fact is that it was a leap year when we first started talking and this is the first leap year since.  Well, I know right now you frankly don't give a damn but maybe someday.  For now, I will continue to write and let you know that it may, in-fact, only take a second to fall in love, but a lifetime to prove it's worth.  That is just what I am trying to do.  Prove to you the worth of my love.  I love you and I miss you.

A good thing

Had a very good thought process today after a long, long and difficult day at work.  Let me start with yesterday.  Yesterday I was at a day-long continuing education conference and my phone is going berserk so I check it and see it's one of my employees.  Now, we are closed on Sunday so I knew it wasn't insanely urgent and work related but I responded to her promptly.  Ended up she fell and was going to need a few days off work to recover.  So amid the conference I arrange to get an employee from our other facility to work and all is good.  Today I got to work and the internet was down.  It was down til noon then we were only able to process claims sporadically the rest of the day.  On top of that my "help" that was filling in was very very slow when the internet was up so it took him almost all day to process claims so we couldn't do much of anything until he was done with that.  It was a long and stressful day.  So I was gathering my stuff up to go and I thought "Should I stop and get some beer?  it's been a rough day-  Nahh, I'll be fine, I'd rather not be intoxicated anyhow." Even when I'm having a bad day I prefer sobriety.  That's a good change of things.  It was a nice affirmation that I am moving in the right direction and learning to better deal with problems.  Even the problem of missing someone you love. 

I miss you

 Hey there...I miss you.  Yeah you.  Just sayin. 

These Days

Don't confront me with my failures, I have not forgotten them

Still

What to wear

It's Spring!

It's officially Spring in my world!  What constitutes spring you ask?! The spring peepers of course!  Tonight is the first night I have heard them this year and I am happy to hear their song!  (oops forgot to publish this one last week...been so freaking cold they went dormant again!) 

Be careful

Be careful what you spy, you may not like what you see with your eye
I looked and I saw you, I looked and I saw him and you- yes you two
It stung a little like a bee, It hurt, it was sore like I fell and skinned my knee
I tried to cover it I tried to hide, I tried to run I used great stride
Where ever I went, there you were,  In my mind like the kick of a spur
After some thought, I must confess, I do not own you I do not possess 
I only want you for me, and that is something that will never be
So I'll sit in the corner and cast my glance, I'll live for that moment that I may have a chance
I'll hope and I'll pray, but I'll keep my distance- yes stay away
I'll try to be glad that you are happy, i'll try to smile no matter if I feel crappy
It was my fault for being a spy,  It's my fault, i didn't expect to see a guy
How could I blame you though, after all who wants to go thru life without love to know

Clearly Clarity

Where do you find your clarity?  This was an interesting question posed today that I was giving some thought. I really, honestly used to find my clarity in alcohol.  Or maybe my confusion that made me think I had clarity.  I know that's what I ran to and it was a bad path for me.  I enjoy a beer one in a while now or a glass of wine but I avoid drinking more than a drink or two because I know it's not good for me in any way.  So where do I go now?  I go here.  I write.  I write about my problems, I write about my issues, I write about my cares and concerns and I pretend someone cares.  I pretend someone reads them and I feel like I got it off my chest.  Where do you find your clarity?  Is it healthy?  

I tried...

I try to be prepared.  It's one of my weirdness', I know it is.  I try to be rational though and realize when I am going down a rabbit hole.  What really kinda irks me though, that is someone un-preparing me intentionally.  Not because they want to be unprepared but just because they are that ignorant. I filled a bunch of jugs of water at my house and put them in a vacant cabinet.  When the power went out I went to get a jug and it was gone.  I asked my wife if she knew what happened to them.  She did know.  She dumped them out and threw away the jugs because the water would get old.  It's water.  It's been in the ground.  You are drinking water that has been in the ground for a while and I can't put it in a jug and keep it?  I mean seriously.  Or empty it and refill it.  But no, we had to be unprepared for the power being out.  No water to drink, no way to wash hands, no way to cook/boil.  Seriously.  Just be courteous not ignorant.